satpak77

In another thread, I posted how marriage is not biologically compatible with being a male. This drew a wide variety of responses (and PMs), and the viewpoints are wide ranging from "having desires for another woman" while married will result in forever burning in hell, sharing the burning pit with Osama Bin Laden and Hitler (uh, me thinks, not, but ok...), to the view that hitting a Colombian FA from Avianca on a layover probably won't hurt you (and may be healthy for you).

Divorce ? I married at age 28 and probably in my next life would wait till 30. You just don't know yourself (my opinion) or enough about life in general until that point. I would marry a partner with brains, education, and stable family. A nut job family means nothing but problems down the road. Again, my opinion. Brains, Education, Stable Family. I didn't say rich. But if a cement truck runs over me tomorrow, the wife has to be able to be operational and take care of the kids, etc. Don't get into struggles over money, which is the #1 cause of divorce (cheating is not). Also, "career women" use caution. I am not trying to sound macho or old-school, but someone has to be PIC and someone SIC in the house. Two PIC's don't work. Obviously decisions in the cockpit are made together and with mutual discussion, in order that the passengers (kids, family, and dog) receive best result, but at the end of the day, ultimately, their has to be someone in charge.

Rambling, sorry.

Did I say all of this was my opinion ?

Good luck

crewdawg

Golden Bear

Marriage | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Snarge

Agreed that waiting till 30-ish is best..


I recently read an article...... before marriage that women picked their mate... children grew up knowing their mother and that all men in the village or tribe were 'uncles', no fathers.

Not until agrarian ways did males claim their mates. Organized religion and patriarchy subjugated women. A great example is Hinduism. Women are second class. They often are dictated to marry men 10 years their senior when they are less than 20 yrs old, yet wish to die first because widowhood can be a living hell. Society rejects women without father or husband. This is all designed to protect the Caste system. (economics). Female non-compliance with this system is shame, exclusion and violence. Male non-compliance is frowned upon yet more often excused . Women are kept uneducated and economically detached so they cook, clean and care for children. Like all societies money matters. Rich wives have servants, but are still second class.

The point is economically free women, who are more so in the west, don't really need the manufactured facade of marriage, like men in the east insist upon. In current times, if a woman wants a life partner (and has the social and emotional intelligence), she should have no problem finding one and doesn't need the coercion of marriage to force a man to be obligated to her for life. (or vice versa).

While some might be thinking that deconstructing marriage will lead to broken families and single parenthood in the West... well, that is what we have now. In addition, in the East, female second class citizenship, violence, the hell of widowhood and oppression of children are hardly reasonable results to a minimal divorce rate.

Gender and economic equality can lead to making marriage irrelevant except to provide for a stable childhood.... sounds like marriage needs to evolve.......

PIC/SIC in the household can and is usually shared given the jobs. There doesn't need to be an autocratic head of household overall facets of the house.

Not convinced that laying on a layover is healthy... maybe for some,. I used to judge people that did cheat, especially my conservative friends as hypocrites, but as I have grown, I see why some would. Yet, freedom to form (non-sexual or platonic) friendships and groups exclusive of the marriage sounds healthy... While some would say that would just lead to cheating... the reply is... marriage doesn't stop someone from cheating if they are of low morals or emotionally starved...

IMHO too...

ratsnrip

Yeah I think the lawyer is saying that while fighting the release of records is possible, and it would delay things, it is probably inevitable the records would be released. The question I should have been asking here is what kind of records would the airline possess to release? Employment, wages earned are the type of things expected would be released. I think the lawyer was saying it is possible for additional information, depending on what the airline has. So I was wondering if anyone had been through this.

Has anyone had their trip details, non-rev history and jump seat history released? Apparently, the other employee has a chance of keeping their information out of their hands but even this is not always successful according to my lawyer. The other employee has a better chance of blocking the release of personal information than I do. But if there is enough evidence a judge could rule that the airline must release hers too? And it is hard to predict what any individual judge would think was enough evidence. So as usual with lawyers, my questions were answered with maybes. Looking for real world results here.

Zoot Suit

So true!!!!!

100% of ALL divorces started out in marriage.

RedskinFan

Redskinfan wife posting.... I applaud your response Belk. And I do have an observation to share about being married to a commercial pilot for 25 years. There was an earlier post on this thread advising that a pilot only marry a woman who is independent and has her own career to ensure that the marriage works and she is sufficiently intellectually engaged in her own life while pilot husband is gone flying the friendly skies. And should the 2 of you divorce and Go your separate ways. Life is never that simple, especially when you both truly love each other. The commercial aviation industry is very hard on marriages, and my advice is show your wife every day how much you love and appreciate her, never take her for granted. In my 25 years of marriage I was employed in a high powered career where I was very successful and well paid, but I carried a very high stress load trying to manage as a single parent, managing the home and working and traveling for my job about 20 trips per year. At some point a few years back my husband decided without discussing with me that I was no longer paying enough attention to him. gee, imagine that, i was exhausted. He fell into a vary dangerous repeat pattern of "FA's with benefits" . Imagine my shock, hurt, anger, betrayal. A marriage has to have 2 way honest communication to work. If it is not working, talk to your spouse and enlist the help of a good marriage therapist. Don't just blindly think you are entitled to go look elsewhere for "benefits" without severe consequences. Spouses typically have a 6th sense when something is going on, it is very easy to do the detective work to prove it, even if you are 3000 miles away. If you want to lead that type of promiscuous lifestyle man up, get out of your marriage, but don't carry on behind your spouses back for years and act like everything is roses at home.

jakemichels11

It's true that 50% of marriages end in divorce, but I don't think that statistic can be applied to individual cases. In my limited experience, it seems that it depends on the maturity level and expectations of the people involved. One couple may be doomed from the beginning because they got into it for all the wrong reasons. Another couple may never have a doubt in their mind that they will be together for the rest of their lives. That's just what I've seen.

Snarge

Don't you bear some responsibility? By choosing a high stress career you chose to not pay attention enough to your spouse. Someone had to be sacrificed. It seems you accepted the impossible societal expectations and no win trap of career woman, home maker and mom. What about attentive spouse? No one likes being low priority when they are high priority.

Didn't you fail your own advice: and my advice is show your wife every day how much you love and appreciate her, never take her for granted. (change wife to husband, her to him)



Note that our society doesn't look at the big picture that contributed to the indiscretion, just the indiscretion itself.......

You have a point that husband could have communicated his concerns instead of cheating yet you could have been more committed to him in the first place?

Left Handed

There once was this man who asked a woman to marry him. After much deliberation and soul searching, the woman said no. After that the man didn't have to ask permission to do anything, did what he wanted, had plenty of money, went out with his friends whenever he wanted, and thoroughly enjoyed his life. The End.