Tool of the day
04-22-2012, 06:15 PM
#431
Happy to be here
Joined APC: Jun 2006
Position: A-320A
Posts: 18,563
Originally Posted by buzzpat
I've never heard that in 30 years of flying. If there are guys doing it, they should be shot. I'm talking about the guys who immediately leap onto guard to verbally beat down someone who simply didn't flip the switch. Or flipped the switch incorrectly. Everybody makes mistakes and 99% of us are smart enough to figure it out about 5 seconds after we dork it up.
I also know what you were referring to.
04-22-2012, 06:24 PM
#432
Can't abide NAI
Joined APC: Jun 2007
Position: Douglas Aerospace post production Flight Test & Work Around Engineering bulletin dissembler
Posts: 11,989
Originally Posted by buzzpat
Everybody makes mistakes and 99% of us are smart enough to figure it out about 5 seconds after we dork it up.
I look down about second 3 to discover who the moron is
At least I've learned not to transmit in the "zone of confusion."
04-22-2012, 06:25 PM
#433
Can't abide NAI
Joined APC: Jun 2007
Position: Douglas Aerospace post production Flight Test & Work Around Engineering bulletin dissembler
Posts: 11,989
Originally Posted by acl65pilot
Not this Bar, but the ones that involve aircraft movement. I hear it from time to time and jump in. No one seems dumb enough to do it to a guy in the air, but tend to respond to those taxiing in to a ramp area.
Although the "Aeromexico Taxi" in Dallas was always amusing. Did you ever witness it?
04-22-2012, 06:32 PM
#434
Da Hudge
Joined APC: Oct 2006
Position: Poodle Whisperer
Posts: 17,473
Originally Posted by BlueMoon
Man I hope there aren't people dumb enough to do that to someone. One thing to give out a bogus gate and take wheel chair requests. Doing something that might get someone violated is beyond stupid.
I killed two birds with one stone by messing with them in a manner that won't get them violated, and in their dejected response to me asking if they could get another gate probably killed at least 3 or 4 guard police of heart attacks instantly.
04-22-2012, 06:35 PM
#435
Happy to be here
Joined APC: Jun 2006
Position: A-320A
Posts: 18,563
Originally Posted by Bucking Bar
I'm with you.
Although the "Aeromexico Taxi" in Dallas was always amusing. Did you ever witness it?
Although the "Aeromexico Taxi" in Dallas was always amusing. Did you ever witness it?
Witness it? I had to dodge it. Those guys just do what they want to do when they want to do it. In their air or on the groud, it did not matter. Kind of funny.
131.57 would just stop all DAL traffic in to spot 53 until they were at the gate. When they called to push, ramp would make sure the place was clear prior to letting them even start their push. When I mean clear, I mean not just spot 53, but spots 45-53.
One day they told them to go out 53 and they went out 47. Ugh!
04-22-2012, 06:50 PM
#436
Custom User Title
Joined APC: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,270
Saw a US FO do his post flight walk around in black cowboy boots today....with his pants tucked into them. Keeping it classy.
Minutes before that I observed a US Express CRJ200 touchdown nosewheel first. The resultant bounce onto the mains and launch back into the air was a sight to be seen.
Minutes before that I observed a US Express CRJ200 touchdown nosewheel first. The resultant bounce onto the mains and launch back into the air was a sight to be seen.
04-22-2012, 07:05 PM
#437
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Nov 2005
Posts: 555
Originally Posted by Sink r8
I was thinking the same thing. The speed gives it away, but so does their tone. It's like some a-hole kindergarten teacher yelling at you for soiling your pants.
There is no reason "You're on guard" can't sound like just a friendly observation, and there is also no reason you can't wait the 15 seconds for the guy to try again, then apologize, all on his own, anyway.
I hate intolerant people.
There is no reason "You're on guard" can't sound like just a friendly observation, and there is also no reason you can't wait the 15 seconds for the guy to try again, then apologize, all on his own, anyway.
I hate intolerant people.
04-22-2012, 07:26 PM
#438
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Dec 2008
Position: Upright
Posts: 601
Originally Posted by forgot to bid
Ooooh, reminds me of some corporate stories.
Ticked owner, mad at the pilot for the pilot doing the right thing, pulls out a $100 bill, lights it on fire, says there's your tip and leaves. I do believe that pilot quit eventually.
----
Corporate contract flight attendants + your airplane = your airplane trashed.
Nanny + kids + your airplane = big bill.
---
Wealthy CEO's wife, NJA warned she'd take stuff off the airplane. She did. She took everything. Opened every drawer and took out every magazine, gum, snacks, water, etc. Took it all. Didn't even have room for it in their car once we got to Eagle. She smashed it in. Probably threw some away. Amazing. Also demanded 1 water bottle per passenger x how many hours we were in the air, I think it worked out to 70 or 80 bottles.
We got all new magazines and billed NJA back during the time of "spend whatever it takes to make them happy!" Bad idea.
---
The multitude of pilots who thought they could walk into our jet just to take a look around. No no. That's white carpet, get out now.
Well, not quite bright white, a very white gray. BTW, don't ever get white or a very white gray carpet.
---
Demo flight. 14 morons there to grade the airplane. 15 minute flight. Dude takes a dump. Really?
Same flight, PC-12 pilot, upset we'd pitch to 17 degrees nose up climb (or whatever it was, it was in the FD bars). Thought we were being dangerous. That's not how any airplane he's ever flown is pitched on takeoff.
No kidding bro.
---
The corporate management company that wants to manage your airplane, and fire you asap. Why have pilots loyal to the owner?
BTW, next time have us sign a NDA.
And the next fractional wannabe corporate management company that promises the owner he can turn that hangar queen into a money maker! The owner says, I like it being a hangar queen, it's a nice plane. Then the owner asks, what would happen to my pilots? They'd become Flight Options pilots, you could always request them if you want them. oh? And what if I want to use my plane? Well, we'd provide you one of our airplanes but if you want yours then you need to pay to fly it back to you at the full charter rate which was 2x the normal charter rate for some reason?
The good thing was the numbers offered were so bad it was a nonstarter from the beginning. Basically, they wanted a free plane.
---
Talking to a charter customers mistress about Michael Jordan's mistresses, awkward. But not as awkward as turning the pull out couch back into a couch.
--
Charter customer in Kansas, watches with the FBO rampers while the pilots load bags for 12 into the back. As soon as we close the door, customer turns to the ramper and hands him a big wad of cash for a tip. Ramper walks inside. Um... wow. I don't care if you tip me, but why him? He just stood out here long enough to get a tip and walk away. If I had thought about it, I'd taken the wheel chocks he left in as souvenirs.
---
Customs in PBI. So [redacted story]. 
Ticked owner, mad at the pilot for the pilot doing the right thing, pulls out a $100 bill, lights it on fire, says there's your tip and leaves. I do believe that pilot quit eventually.
----
Corporate contract flight attendants + your airplane = your airplane trashed.
Nanny + kids + your airplane = big bill.
---
Wealthy CEO's wife, NJA warned she'd take stuff off the airplane. She did. She took everything. Opened every drawer and took out every magazine, gum, snacks, water, etc. Took it all. Didn't even have room for it in their car once we got to Eagle. She smashed it in. Probably threw some away. Amazing. Also demanded 1 water bottle per passenger x how many hours we were in the air, I think it worked out to 70 or 80 bottles.
We got all new magazines and billed NJA back during the time of "spend whatever it takes to make them happy!" Bad idea.
---
The multitude of pilots who thought they could walk into our jet just to take a look around. No no. That's white carpet, get out now.
Well, not quite bright white, a very white gray. BTW, don't ever get white or a very white gray carpet.
---
Demo flight. 14 morons there to grade the airplane. 15 minute flight. Dude takes a dump. Really?
Same flight, PC-12 pilot, upset we'd pitch to 17 degrees nose up climb (or whatever it was, it was in the FD bars). Thought we were being dangerous. That's not how any airplane he's ever flown is pitched on takeoff.
No kidding bro.
---
The corporate management company that wants to manage your airplane, and fire you asap. Why have pilots loyal to the owner?
BTW, next time have us sign a NDA.
And the next fractional wannabe corporate management company that promises the owner he can turn that hangar queen into a money maker! The owner says, I like it being a hangar queen, it's a nice plane. Then the owner asks, what would happen to my pilots? They'd become Flight Options pilots, you could always request them if you want them. oh? And what if I want to use my plane? Well, we'd provide you one of our airplanes but if you want yours then you need to pay to fly it back to you at the full charter rate which was 2x the normal charter rate for some reason?
The good thing was the numbers offered were so bad it was a nonstarter from the beginning. Basically, they wanted a free plane.
---
Talking to a charter customers mistress about Michael Jordan's mistresses, awkward. But not as awkward as turning the pull out couch back into a couch.
--
Charter customer in Kansas, watches with the FBO rampers while the pilots load bags for 12 into the back. As soon as we close the door, customer turns to the ramper and hands him a big wad of cash for a tip. Ramper walks inside. Um... wow. I don't care if you tip me, but why him? He just stood out here long enough to get a tip and walk away. If I had thought about it, I'd taken the wheel chocks he left in as souvenirs.
---
Customs in PBI. So [redacted story].
The craptain who demanded I leave the APU running while clearing PBI Customs. Inspector came out yelling at me. Said inspector got real cool when I explained the DB captain demanded I leave it lit. He went in and gave the guy an anal fisting. Only time I've ever seen the contents of a crew bad emptied there.
Same dude goes out to lunch on the arrival into a major airport on the east coast, blowing through a crossing restriction both high and fast, then after ATC says "don't worry about it, but hustle down, you're #1 for the airport" won't use the boards to get down thus extended everyone else's final.... That was one of my last tours with the company. I was ready for the furlough after that. The last tour I had was recurrent, and the capt I was paired up with was anything but a tool. The notices had gone out by then, and I wasn't allowed to buy any meals or beers. Except one round which I requested to buy for a few of us there. It was nice to go out on a high note with a good teammate. He was really sweating the furlough for those of us who were about to go through it.
Biggest tool of them all, from my standpoint: David Sokol. I hope he gets terminal crabs.
04-22-2012, 07:58 PM
#440
Moderator
Joined APC: Oct 2006
Position: B757/767
Posts: 13,088
Originally Posted by AZFlyer
Minutes before that I observed a US Express CRJ200 touchdown nosewheel first. The resultant bounce onto the mains and launch back into the air was a sight to be seen.
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