One of my buddies said he trained the star fish at Sea World. It's amazing how many gullible people there are.

I'll take this as tactile permission to use your friend's approach and change my story for future use ;)

USMCFLYR

on your drive home you try to get your car to your last rotate speed.

I liked using the "I paint the lines on the road"

Ping Pong equipment salesman.

Just trying to avoid the "what route do you fly?", "your airline lost my aunts luggage.." "have you ever had anything bad happen?" "Have you ever seen a UFO?"

That kind of B.S. that you get asked or commented to multiple thousands of times a year.

Exactly. My bar time is precious, and I'll be damned if some cubicle drone is gonna ruin it for me.

I drive the city bus, let me introduce myself, Kramden, Ralph Kramden. Please to meet ya.

Landscaping mulch salesman.

In full uniform sitting next to other crewmembers, "I'm a computer operator."