If when you go on regular vacation you're lost on how to pack your bag for something other than a trip.

Beat me to it.

Can pack for a 5-6 day reserve stint in 30 seconds. Go to visit somebody over a weekend and forget stuff.

If you are an FO, people have asked you, "So do you actually get to fly?"

You have heard of someone stealing the batteries out of the hotel tv remote to put in their anr headset...

I KNEW that was true!

You spend as many nights a month in hotels as you do in your house but have not accumulated any more rewards points in a decade.

People ask you if you drink before/while you fly. Or passengers actually look in the cockpit and say, "they look sober."

you're a pax airline pilot if more than half of the people you work with are bitter and constantly complaining about the company/industry but don't have the pair to quit!!!!!!

This is the most I've laughed since the Milk Man Chronicles... I guess I'll add to the fun:

...while waiting at the gate for your bird to arrive inbound, you know to review your Dx paperwork someplace OTHER than the very convenient counter at the gate, for fear of the usual questioning.

...when you still roll the dice and utilize the gate counter, your peripheral vision can see them approaching from 50 yards away. You conveniently perpetuate a convincing facial expression to justify making a dash to the jet way and waiting it out until the coast is clear or a gate agent arrives.

...when commuting, you prefer taking the jumpseat over the last cabin seat to avoid contact with too many immune system threats. The crew understands and welcomes you... usually.

...following a subpar landing you're somewhat embarrased about, once blocked in at the gate, you take as long as possible to run the shutdown checklist, clean up all your cockpit trash scattered around, empty your spitter, finish an earlier discussion with the other pilot, review anything that seems pertinent, and even check the peephole to assure all have disembarked and any negative pax commentary on your landing is avoided; the cockpit door stays closed until this is assured. The FAs understand why.

...you feel you have the greatest landing ever and secretly look forward to a multitude of "nice landing" complements to boost your feeble pilot ego, only to not receive even one.

...you hammer one on and still get a "nice landing" complement, but secretly wonder if they meant it or were just sarcastically messing with you.

...you know the "Happy Birthday" prank.



I'm sure I'll think of more as this current stint of RSV presses on...

... you have a mental list of boring occupations that don't invite any questioning. You use these instead of "airline pilot" when asked what you do in social settings in order to avoid the standard responses.

... you're one of the few people in the country that can fly for free, and one of the last people who wants to.

... your neighbors never really get why you're always home when you shouldn't be (tuesday afternoons) and never are home when you should be (saturday mornings).

... when giving driving directions, you always use "north, south, east, west" and trying to give them in "left, right" instead takes significant thought.

... you actually don't like the taste of Biscoff cookies.

... you're in the only employee group at the airport that doesn't frequently have neck tattoos.

.... after enough years of carrying "self loading cargo", you just don't care how your landings are.