I still laugh when I think about the jumpseater that stole the silverware off an Evergreen 747. The crew landed with jumpseater in Europe somewhere, and the catering folks came aboard and asked what happened to the silverware. Yes, some catering was served with the metal kind back in 1995, believe it or not.

So, by process of elimination and character evaluation, it was determined that the jumpseater packed up the silverware for himself. He was setting up an apartment in Brussels after all.

Surely some of you can beat this story. Let's hear your worst jumpseater tale

 

Taxiied back to the gate and gave the boot to a cranky UAL jumpseater that played nice until we pushed back. As soon as the tug was disconnected, he started bitching about how we (United Express) were stealing jobs from UAL guys and he thought we should all be fired and he didn't give a damn about anybody at our company.

Captain looked him straight in the eye and said with a smile, "Well if you feel that CRJ's don't belong in the United system, then I suppose you can find another United affiliate to take you to work. I certainly am not going to tolerate a hostile attitude from you in my cockpit. As of this moment I consider you a security concern and I don't want you sitting up here." Too bad there wasn't a seat in the cabin...

 

The other good story comes from a trip I was flying as FO out of Birmingham, AL. We're just about to close the door when the gate agent comes down and says there's an FAA inspector at the gate.

He comes down 2 minutes before departure, pushes his way past the FA and says, you guys are taking me to Chicago. I'm doing a line check on you today. We were already weight limited and had left two passengers behind (due to weather/extra fuel), and had handed the paperwork out.

Captain asks for the guys FAA ID and it says "Maintenance Inspector - Anchorage FSDO." It was fun watching the FAA dude get all red faced when the captain told him "Ain't gonna happen."

He got all ****y until the CA whipped out the cellphone and called our company POI directly (The POI apparently lived two doors down from him.) I've never seen an inspector go pale as quick as this guy did. Classic.

 

Summer last year, a Jet Blue capt told the capt and I that

"The problem with you at NWA is that the pilots make too much money. You just got to learn to live with making less".

Too bad we were half way to our destination.......

 

This is not about a jumpseater, but about jumpseating. I was told by a captain I flew with a year or so ago that when he rode on an airline based at ORD which hired a lot of people for reasons other than piloting reason..... that when he was strapped into the jumpseat the F/O asked him if he "had his stuff in" with that company. The guy I know said, "No, I am happy to stay where I work now." The F/O told him to keep working on his "twin time". This to a captain with over 10,000 hours and thousands of jet PIC.

The captain of the major told the F/O not to patronise pilots more experience than herself.

 

Had a FAA guy, DC-10 typed, ride the jumpseat back in the CRJ days.

ATC gave us a lower altitude so I looked at the release, which had the lower alt. and also entered the change in the FMS.

He then spoke up by saying in a higher than thou attitude, "Welllllllll, I'm not familiar with the CRJ but how do you know what your fuel burn will be now?"

I then showed him my release that had the new altitude, and the began to give him a lesson on the FMS and actually showed him how little fuel the aircraft burn even if they dropped us down to 8000 ft.

He remained quiet for the rest of the trip and a few days later I ran into some fellow FAA folks from this guys region and told them the story. They just rolled their eyes and said that this guy was a real winner.

 

Not sure if it true, but I hope so.

Heard a tale of a jumpseater hoping on a UAL flight and went to ask the Captain for the seat, the FO said " I'll handle this" looked at the jumpers paperwork, welcomed him onboard and introduced himself to the jumper, then intoduced the FE to the jumper then said "thats the Captain, but don't tlak to him, he is a scab" all this while the Captain sat silently looking out the window knowing his place.

 

I was in the second jumpseat on a flightdeck where the other jumpseater (on-line guy) was never, ever spoken to or offered coffee, meal, or anything. They went out of their way to make me feel extra-welcome, and actually made him sit in the crappy seat behind the CA. Gotta wonder how long a guy can stand that kind of treatment without going bananas! Keep your eye on the tie, guys!

 

Can you explain the tie? Never ALPA, just SWAPA.

Thanks

 

I'm sure a UAL guy will have the answer, but after commuting on them for over 4 years in my previous gig and listening to them talk, it's something like this.

At UAL, like a few other places, they have scabs. And like other places, the scabs are not well liked. Despite what one thinks of ALPA, all the pilots (non -scab) wear ALPA pins on their ties. Scabs do not. I'm not sure if they are entitled to representation or not. The "slick tie" as they call it is giving it away that they are a scab. Hence, if the guys has a "slick tie", he probably won't get much respect from anybody.