Tool of the day
#1921
Bracing for Fallacies
Joined APC: Jul 2007
Position: In favor of good things, not in favor of bad things
Posts: 3,543

#1922
Banned
Joined APC: Mar 2009
Posts: 562
#1923
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Feb 2006
Position: B-737NG preferably in first class with a glass of champagne and caviar
Posts: 5,773
#1924
Eats shoots and leaves...
Joined APC: Apr 2007
Position: Didactic Synthetic Aviation Experience Provider
Posts: 849

I have tears running down my face from laughing so hard at these! I can only hope to someday have occasion to use one of these in such a situation.
Thank you gentlemen, well played!
#1925
#1926

Waiting for a hotel van and two guys from Delta also waiting. I asked where they're from, and one kind of gives me the hairy eyeball and says "Delta".
PS I have a lot of Delta buds who thought that guy was a tool too.
TW
PS I have a lot of Delta buds who thought that guy was a tool too.
TW
#1927
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Feb 2006
Position: B-737NG preferably in first class with a glass of champagne and caviar
Posts: 5,773

You should have asked him which is the closest galaxy to his planet Delta is located.
#1928
#1929
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Apr 2010
Posts: 453

If you commute and wear the 'commuter jacket' (North Face, Columbia, golf windbreaker) it matches great with the white shirt and black tie. Just tell then this:
Passenger: "Are you a Pilot?"
Me: "No, I sell Bibles for a living"
Passenger: "Oh"
Me: "Wanna buy a Bible?"
Passenger: "Ummmm.....no"
Me: "OK"
/End conversation
Works great everytime, all the time
Passenger: "Are you a Pilot?"
Me: "No, I sell Bibles for a living"
Passenger: "Oh"
Me: "Wanna buy a Bible?"
Passenger: "Ummmm.....no"
Me: "OK"
/End conversation
Works great everytime, all the time
#1930

This may not qualify for "tool" status but it bugs the sh$t outta me: The jumpseater who comes down before boarding then proceeds to stand over us while playing 20 questions while we preflight, load fms, run checklists etc... Just ask for a ride then get out of the way. Why is this hard?
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