First rule of jumpseating is never talk about jumpseating.

Second rule of jumpseating is have all your paperwork in your hand and if the Captain doesn't want it, he'll hand it right back (or wave it off).

Third rule of jumpseating is save the personality until the door is closed, you're off the gate, and you've had a chance to feel the tone of the crew.

Sounds like your buddy broke all three rules.

I save the personality until we are above 10,000', then I open with, "You guys screwed me in the merger!".

Always a great ice breaker.

I think the tool is you YLpilot, just for trying to make the DL pilot look like a tool and the obvious reasons why your post totally backfired. Your bud was disrespectful of the CA and the HS privilege, I'm sure he learned the free of charge lesson.

The only thing I would have done different than the DL cap after the "motorcycle lic comment",
- yes son I need to see your mopped license- then show him the way out my AC.

LOL

Must make for a high JS attrition rate and/or lots of move-backs to the last row. :D

"Hi, I'm Boomer from Comair. I have an autographed picture of JC Lawson in my flight case and I have RJDC tattooed across my lower back. How are things with you Prima Donnas these days?"

This works all the time, 60% of the time.

A legitimate Ell Oh Ell on this side of the keyboard. Nicely done.

Clearly the DAL CA was the tool here for not recognizing the sheer Chuck Norris level of awesomeness that is your buddy. Perhaps a miscommunication occurred as your buddy had a hard time hearing the captain while Kenny Loggins was blasting away in his ear buds. (insert Backpack/Spiked Hair reference joke)

I introduce today's contender:

While I agree with everyone regarding the post from YL, here was an incident about 6 years back on a DL 757 out of ATL. There were about 3 or 4 jumpseaters ahead of me and I was the last one to request it. I had ran to get this flight and luckily was able to get on with a seat in the back. I had left my flight kit by the galley behind the first class and usually take my passport, license and medical with me up front. This time I had forgotten that since they were in a hurry to get us boarded. Anyway, I proceed up front behind a World guy and the captain asks me for everything. I tell him that I forgot it in the flight kit and will go back and get it. He decides to follow me out to the galley and hovers over me while I'm taking all the required documentation out. As I hand him all the material, he proceeds to say out loud "Well someone stole a uniform and I wanted to make sure it wasn't you." Needless to say this statement and my brown skin got me a lot of stares from the passengers who had heard it. The flight attendant was watching the whole thing and said that this guy had been hard to deal with the whole trip.

Well played to you both. Good stuff.