Airline Pilot Central Forums - Any "Latest & Greatest" about Delta?

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- - Any "Latest & Greatest" about Delta? (https://www.airlinepilotforums.com/delta/36912-any-latest-greatest-about-delta.html)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amish Pilot (Post 1151801)

Don't be that guy or girl. :mad: Unfortunately today, I got to listen Capt Douche pontificate about his Navy career to include a list of the ships he served on and the aircraft he and his Air Force F/O had flown. During his PA, the passengers kept looking at the other uniformed crew members with the question in there eyes as to why is this tool giving us his resume. If his was you today on the XXXX am, MSP to ATL flight, STOP IT! Noboby cares about your resume....... You are making a fool of yourself.

As a veteran, I appreciate your service, but PAs like this have to stop.

Haha. A few months ago I posted a question asking if anyone had been on a flight where an 88 captain made a PA saying his phone number was 1-800-HOT-CAPTAIN and he also said after takeoff he was going to do a barrel roll. He wasn't hot, and we didn't do a barrel roll. Glad I was not traveling in uniform in the cabin that day.

For anyone that has ever ridden in the back of the plane, and maybe for those who don't commute and put AVOID deadheads on their PBS bid, they don't realize how many stinking PA's the flight attendants make. For crying out loud, everybody shut up.

:D

Chillin' in the hotel room... 23 minutes before scheduled arrival time. 1 hourly early... and we departed JFK.

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lu...9rypo1_500.jpg

OH YEAH! TAKE THAT MR. CAPTAIN RESUME! Because of you, a simple airplane ride is suddenly a 10 minute plummet into the bowels of audible hell. Thanks to you, I know that new hire psychiatrist test doesn't work.

Here is the ONLY PA any pilot worth his wings should EVER be making!

Nobody wants to know what you flew in the military, or what college you went to, so SHUT the FARK UP! Most of them are trying to sleep! (me included!)

You only need to reasure them that every thing is OK, like these guys:

Monty Python Airplane Pilots - YouTube

Quote:

Originally Posted by Timbo (Post 1152055)

I love this, "ladies and gentlemen, the wing is not on fire!"

But please fasten your safety belts....

Quote:

Originally Posted by forgot to bid (Post 1152041)

Glad I'm not the only one who thinks this. All this "..thank you Gold, Silver, Platinum, etc, etc..." Thank them by shutting up! Stop pushing your AmEx card on me. Heard from a friend who flew on some other airline that they didn't go through the litany of on-off of the electronics as much as Delta does. He said they replaced the "No Smoking" symbol next to the seat belt light with a symbol that represents "electronics"...we're above 10,000...cleared to turn it on, and people are cleared to have at it--one less annoying PA.

And while we're on the subject, it seems a lot of captains either ask me to make a PA to tell the pax to keep their seats while we stop for 15 seconds outside the gate, or make it themselves. As was mentioned, they're the captain so I'll make the PA, but really, don't you think the FAs can handle it? Sure, you can make the case for it by thinking of some scenario that saved a pax from breaking his back, but I can think of another 100 reasons to make another 100 PAs too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesse (Post 1152068)

Blame me for that one. I learned at Coex that passengers generally think you're late unless you tell them you're early. I went back to telling people that we're early, or tonight we're one hour early, so that they don't get off throwing a fit because we waited 5 minutes for the gate to come open... and we still parked 20 early. So I generally take the moment to squeeze that one in, and squeeze one out, while waiting for the ramp crew.

It's easy, goes like this:

"Welcome to the A-T-L,
We're 20 minutes early so don't you yell,
Remember when you're on a plane don't stir or cuss,
Have some fun on this Airbus, Airbus, Airbus"

This Captain reminds me of the guy from Airplane!

Every time he told a war story people committed suicide.

By the way, according to the FOM...
____________________
FOM 7.8.3:
PA Quiet Hours are from 10pm to 8am local time, when a movie is playing, when a significant number of passengers would be sleeping or between top of climb to top of descent on a flight greater than 5 hours.

Only do a PA if required by FARs or for safety.

Such as "there is nothing to be alarmed about."
____________________

Remember when making a PA: you're not funny, you're not interesting, unless your late they don't care.

Quote:

Originally Posted by forgot to bid (Post 1151896)

I believe you flew with an ATL M88 Captain who is well known and I think this has been turned in but he still does it. From what I understand if one passenger out of 142 or so, comes up and says "that was great" then it was worth it to hime.

What an FO who knows whats coming should do is say:

"Me? Well, I learned to fly in college. Well sort of, I was drunk a lot. It took me forever to get through training. After I graduated I bought 200 hours of right seat time on a Beech 99. I then flew for Trans States but got furloughed. I applied to GoJet but wasn't hired. So I took a job flying a Apache for a Mile High Club operation, its not as exciting as you think. It was most man-on-man, at best old swingers. it went out of business though. I realized then, i need to get a real job. Id been flying for 15 years but really was just chasing girls and hanging out at bars, crashing on my buddy's couch until he got married then I moved back home with the folks to save money. But thats okay, when my girlfriend turned 18 we got married, legally, so that was worth it to move back home. Otherwise, I'd never married my buddy's little sister. I have a girl next door thing. So anyways, I needed job when she turned out to be prego, so I borrowed some money and bought a 727 type rating and went to a Women in Aviation conference. I know I'm a guy, but hey got an interview with Delta and here I am. Why do you ask?"

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_FZVvgFCIxX...fused-full.jpg

That is funny and for some reason reminded me of this:

Cool pilot story.

Once upon a time, a pilot asked a beautiful princess, "Will you marry me?"

The princess said, "No!" And the pilot lived happily ever after and flew jets all over the world and drove hot cars and banged skinny long-legged big-titted flight attendants and hunted and fished and went to topless bars and dated women half his age and drank whiskey and Captain Morgan and never heard *****ing and never paid child support or alimony and kept his house and guns and ate cold spam, potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was frickin' cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up........ The end.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1234 (Post 1152079)

HA HA HA.

That's great.