Well, not much a regional FO can say or do when it's the captain engaging in <donkey>hattery.

 

I'd estimate that maybe 5% of pax pay attention to whatever we're blabbing from the front office.

I strongly prefer those CAs who limit their communication to a quick welcome aboard, and nothing else aside from updates on delays or other irregularities. Most pax ignore announcements, or can't understand them, or just want to be left to watch their iPad or sleep in peace.

And while we're on the topic, if you do choose to give a destination weather announcement, why in the name of all that's holy do some guys include the altimeter setting, visibility, the exact wind speed and direction, and exact altitude of the broken or overcast layer? Aside from pilots and sailors, nobody cares or knows what an altimeter setting is. Nor do they care whether it's a broken layer at 2,200 or an overcast layer at 3,500. What's next? A briefing on the NOTAMs?

 

Welll, You might have to walk to the terminal with some of these LCC's and knowing which taxiways are closed would be helpful.

 

I think a good, informative and complete PA should include the field NOTAMs.

Some of our passengers might be alarmed at the sudden sight of tractor cutting the grass mere feet from the wingtips after landing and non-standard signage at some destinations.

 

Why, just the other day I heard a passenger exclaim how there were 213 lights missing from obstruction towers within a 10 mile radius of the airport. Funny story!

 

The captain who pulls out his iPad to show me his new truck equipped with a vanity license plate that says "FLYBOY." Then proceeds to set the best Econ fuel thrust setting in a CRJ over the Rockies on a day when moderate to severe mountain wave is reported, then goes to sleep. Fun day of correcting negative trend vectors, max powering out of decreasing airspeed, and listening to FLYBOY sawing logs in the left seat.

 

"stallboy"

 

Haha that's awesome. We're back in the days of 2500hr upgrades at 23-24 yrs old. Not that everyone is immature at that age but it sure brings some interesting people in that position.

 

After he included the altimeter setting, wind speed and direction, cloud layer heights and so on, my captain said "Reach over and shake your neighbors hand and introduce yourself. He might save your life one day." I wanted to crawl into the ducting vents. You really can't script this stuff.

 

Welcome aboard
Flight number
Destination
Flight time
Smooth/bumpy ride (altitude optional)
Current weather at destination
-Calm/light/gusty
-Clear/partly/mostly/overcast/rain/snow
-temperature
(Any delay, operational or maintenance issues)
Thanks again, welcome aboard

I don't feel the need to say my name or my qualifications or where I'm from or what we are flying over or any other stupid fluff the pax really don't give a cr@p about